YESTERDAY, THE WORLD Health Organisation announced that eating sausages, ham, red meat, and other processed meats can cause cancer.
Irish people were naturally quite devastated by the news, given that sausages and ham are such important parts of our nation’s diet.
We’re more than a little bit in denial – so we believe that certain beloved meat products and/or dishes are surely, SURELY an exception to this news.
Superquinn sausages
Pure, beautiful Superquinn sossies are innocent in all this. Leave them alone.
Bacon/sausage sandwiches
If you eat the bacon wrapped in bread, it acts as a sort of barrier to any bad things. (This is absolutely 100% true, ask anyone.)
Sausage rolls
Same goes for pastry. It’s a barrier.
Mince
Mince makes up a good 80% of most Irish people’s food intake. What would we eat if we couldn’t eat lasagne, bolognese, or shepherd’s pie?
A simple ham and cheese toastie
Look at that. How could that be wrong?
Chops
A decadent treat we cannot, and shall not, be parted from.
Billy Roll
Shh. Shh. Billy roll is made with love. Look at that face. Billy Roll could never hurt you.
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